50 ways to freak people out ;)

In an elevator…

1. Hum the Batman theme incessantly for twenty minutes

2. Wait on the elevator with a big bucket of Skittles until there are a lot of people on there with you. When you get to a high floor or desired number of victims, wait till the door opens and then scream “TASTE THE RAINBOW!” at the top of your lungs, pour the Skittles all over the elevator, and run.

3. Go up to somebody of the same gender and lick them

4. Go up to somebody of the opposite gender and lick them

5. Go up to somebody of any gender and lick them. Then look disgusted and slap them for no reason whatsoever.

6. Drop a penny down the elevator shaft and then scream “NO! MOMMY, COME BACK!”

7. Stare at somebody and lick your lips. Then pull out your cell phone, pretend to dial, and say “I’ve found a likely candidate for our…experiment.”

8. Then glance at them.

9. Then start laughing maniacally.

10. Scream “LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!!!!” after a long moment of silence. Then explain calmly that you wanted to break the ice.

11. Stare menacingly at an old woman

12. Then roar in her face

13. When the old woman falls over in fear, apologize and ask if somebody has some breath mints

14. Fart when there are at least six people in the elevator

15. Then ask if somebody has some breath mints

In a public bathroom…

16. Announce loudly when you walk in that you need to powder your nose and ask if anyone has a cheese grater you could borrow. Wait for them to understand your joke. If they don’t, look angry and walk out.

17. Tell your friends that you’re going to the bathroom and hide in one of the stalls

18. See how long it takes them to come ask if you’re alright

19. When they come in, quickly squirt ketchup packets in your eyes and run out of the bathroom stall screaming

20. If you’re a woman, pour ketchup on the front of your pants and then walk out acting like nothing’s wrong

21. Then ask if somebody has some breath mints

22. Make grunting and straining noises in a bathroom stall for five minutes. Raise a cantaloupe as far above your head as possible and drop it into the toilet bowl. Then sigh in relief.

23. Tell people you’re going to go to Narnia. Tear up all the toilet paper on the roll, cover yourself with the shreds, and run out of the bathroom screaming “BLIZZARD!”

In general…

24. Offer to walk an old woman across the street…and then run off when she’s halfway across

25. Try to walk through a pillar at a train station. Then walk off muttering “How come the Weasley’s can do it but I can’t?”

26. Pour glitter glue in a little plastic cup and walk around bragging that you took Edward’s urine sample

27. Brag that you’ve harnessed the power of Edward and shoot paintballs full of glitter glue at people

28. Talk to a fat person. No matter what they say, answer with “Knowing you, you’ll wanna supersize that, right?”

29. Lather, rinse, and repeat until they start crying.

30. Give them a bar of chocolate. When they thank you, grin and say “Knowing you, you’ll wanna supersize that, right?”

31. Then beg them not to sit on you.

32. When you get partnered with a girl in home ec, smile, put on a sock puppet and say “And this is our baby Jeremy” regardless of your gender.

33. Then scream “BABY WANT MILK!” and pinch the girl’s boob really hard while saying “OM NOM NOM!”

34. Wait for her to finish beating the cheez whiz out of you

35. Then ask if she has some breath mints

36. Say “The power of Christ compels you!” after someone farts

37. Go to Taco Bell and order a Happy Meal

38. Go to Taco Bell and tell the drive-through cashier that they’re ‘one taco short of a combo platter’

39. Swerve around on the road in front of a cop car

40. When you’re pulled over, throw a Molotov cocktail into the cop car’s driver seat and take off

41. Laugh maniacally when you hear the explosion. Make sure all your windows are open.

42. Go up to someone and say ‘No habla espanol’

43. Then ask them ¿Usted tiene algunas mentas de la respiración? (Do you have some breath mints?)

44. Demand that the veterinarian give your pet rock its annual shots

45. Threaten to call up PETA when they refuse

46. Complain when the karaoke place doesn’t have any songs in Yiddish

47. Threaten to tell your mom

48. Pick up a prostitute. Right in the middle of your time together, yell “I’VE GOT AIDS!”

49. Tell your BOYFRIEND that his SISTER was better in bed

50. When he gets pissed off, mutter that ‘so was his mom’


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